I get that if you’re not happy about your appearance, maybe you want to give off the illusion that you look better than you do in photos you post on the internet. I’ve noticed this on dating sites often. Women do it too, we are definitely not innocent. We’ve all perfected our selfie game, lift the phone so that you’re looking up, turn just so, etc. I get it. But what I don’t understand is completely misrepresenting yourself, if you plan on actually meeting people in person. I’d never been catfished, I don’t know if this even counts as being catfished because this guy was who he said he was, he just either photoshopped or used very old pictures on his profile.
(This happened before I met the guy from the last post, I forgot about this one until I checked my notes about this blog).
One Saturday night, I was bored and playing on the various dating apps on my phone. I struck up a conversation with a man who shared many of my interests, based on his profile. His career was even in my preferred field, so our conversation was intense and detailed. We slowly began flirting. I don’t know why, but I firmly believe that I cannot “schedule” a hook up with someone from a dating app, probably because of situations like this. Nevertheless after about an hour, he made a comment about how if I said the word, he’d drive straight to my place once he got out of work in about 30 minutes. I challenged him to prove it. I was ready to meet this charming guy and maybe have a little make-out session. He admitted that he was testing me to see how I would react, but once we established that we were both serious and both interested, he told me he’d see me in a few minutes.
I’m also a firm believer in not texting and driving so we didn’t speak again until he had turned onto my street. I only had a few irrational thoughts of him being psycho. How sad that we are conditioned to believe the worst of people, when chances are higher that they’re just lonely people looking for a connection too, not necessarily serial killers preying on single people.
He got to my apartment and texted me to come downstairs to his car. It was a little chilly out but he assured me his car was at a cozy temperature and we’d be okay. Imagine my surprise when I slid into the front seat and next to a man that was at LEAST 50lbs heavier than his photos. Probably closer to 75lbs bigger. He was a very large, heavy breathing man. I was alarmed, but we chatted for a bit and eventually I said, to hell with it, and we had a pretty heavy make-out session. He was a decent kisser, but he was noisy, and sweated a lot.
Someone was watching us in his car with his non tinted windows and I got self conscious, so we drove to a darker street in my neighborhood. After a while of just making out, my bra was off, chest exposed, he was good at what he was doing. His tongue was big, he left marks. After a while, I pushed his hand into my pants, and he fingered me. As we were getting to that point, he commented that I was easy. He told me no girl has ever been so forward with him and he thought girls weren’t as fast as that. I was offended and I couldn’t bring myself to touch him back. I was taken aback by his comments and I just wasn’t feeling it, even as he was trying to get me off; which did not entirely work. It felt fine, but he did some weird flicking thing that just didn’t do anything for me.
After I had had enough- didn’t come, just was tired of him, he must have gotten that vibe because he suddenly said “I should take you home, I have to get up early tomorrow.” I was like “Oh, thanks!” and he drove me home. I kissed him again, and told him we should get together the following Friday. He agreed and we said goodnight. I went back into my apartment. I never heard from him again. Not even like a follow up text.
I haven’t decided if he just wasn’t into me either or just took the hint that I wasn’t really into him. I also haven’t decided if his comments were him assuming I’m some slut and he did not want to get involved with that.
If he was judging me for wanting to have a good time, that’s cool, because I’m judging him for misrepresenting himself on his profile. If you’re going to meet someone, there’s no point in lying- especially about the way you look, because that’s going to come out.