I went on a date with a guy named Jay* after an incredibly long dry spell. In my last post I explained that I really hadn’t dated in a very long time. There had been an occasional tinder “hook up” (that consisted of making out and maybe hands once in a while. It had resulted in my first blow job once, but they were all men that I immediately blocked from contacting me and wanted nothing more to do with. On a whim one Friday night, I answered a guy on a dating app, I don’t even remember if it was Tinder or OK Cupid, but I figured, I’m bored, and he lives by me, so let’s see what he’s about. This was also one of two dates that made me think, maybe this would be an interesting blog topic. A real life version of a single woman’s exploits throughout New York City. Not nearly as glamorous as HBO would have you believe.

Jay met me at my train stop. I was nervous to meet him because online dating completely creeps me out, despite having a profile on multiple (free) sites.  He called me while I was on the train. He had a very thick New York accent, which amused me. We were supposed to go to a little cafe by my house, but it turned out it was closed. So he took me to 7-11 and bought me a coffee there, and we walked around. We ended up walking down to a diner about half a mile from my house and making small talk.  On our way to the diner, we discussed the upcoming election, and he brings up the Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice debate.  I am staunchly Pro-Choice, not because I’m into the idea of killing babies, or anything crazy. I just firmly think that a woman should be able to decide what she’s going to do with her body and her life.  I don’t think it is something that should be taken lightly or done flippantly or as an alternative to birth control, but the option to have an abortion safely and under a doctor’s care should always be a thing. I said as much and he immediately launched into a story about how an ex-girlfriend aborted a child that he wanted and lied to him about it. It was a very heavy topic of conversation to share with someone that you’ve known for less than twenty minutes and is a potential dating option, at least what’s how I felt. Perhaps that’s something that is best to get out of the way, but it felt extremely inappropriate.

We stumbled through coffee and he had a slice of cake. I wasn’t interested in eating anything, and watching him eat was very unappealing.  We talked about the essential “getting to know each other” things. What kind of music we’re into, what we do for fun, what we do for work, etc. etc.  Everything he told me made him less and less attractive to me.  I was extremely turned off, and I couldn’t read whether or not he felt the same.  We had absolutely nothing in common.  I finally feigned being tired, and he paid the bill and we walked back toward my house.  I didn’t let him know exactly where I lived because he was still a stranger. We stopped at the corner of my street. He pointed out that he would be walking straight while I’d be making a right.  He gave me an awkward hug, and we parted ways.

He texted me a few times and seemed interested in “hanging out” again, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. We had nothing in common and I was not attracted to him. He was a little too “street” for me, and did not strike me as all that intelligent. His favorite band was something like Insane Clown Posse. Not my type. I couldn’t get into it.

I know this blog’s name implies some sexy stories, and we’ll get there. But this was number one, it didn’t get steamy. He didn’t even try to kiss me- which I’m thankful for because I just would not have been comfortable.


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